Rating: PG-13 (Or PG, but I'm going with PG-13 just to be on the safe side, in case a swear word slips out)
Warnings: Can contain insane amounts of fluff, sillyness and snark.
Summary: AU: Blaine sends a text message to a wrong number by accident. Things progress from there.
Notes: Title from the song Little Numbers by Boy.
The entire story will be written in text message format, so be warned. It's also fairly AU, because Kurt and Blaine have never met each other. So far, I've written about 6 chapters (there will be more though!) and I will try to post at least every Thursday.
Thurs 2 Oct (2:33pm)
Hey, would you mind meeting me at 4 instead of 3? A dog just threw up on me (no, really) and I have to make a detour.
a) Who is this? and b) Why do we have a meeting? and c) How does that even happen? Mostly a) though.
Oh god, sorry! New phone, wrong number! Never mind.
I'm never gonna hear that story, am I?
You're oddly interested for a stranger. It's not even that great a story.
What can I say? I'm stuck in an exceptionally dull class. You could've been my savior.
Pay attention, you might get something out of it! Gotta run! Sorry again.
...are you a teacher? Anyway. Goodbye then, puppy magnet!
Thurs 9 Oct (2:30pm)
So yesterday I saw a dog throw up on the streets. It reminded me of you.
...Who is this?
Your wrong number from last week.
Ah so you *do* remember me! It's 2:38pm on a Thursday; of course I'm bored.
What's at 2:38pm on a Thursday?
History of Fashion lecture.
That doesn't sound as boring as “normal” history.
Believe me, it is, especially when you've known this stuff since you were 3. So yes, I've got nothing to do and your number popped up in my text history.
You're the one who dances with dogs.
Again, you're weird.
And yet you keep replying. What does that say about you?
Should I change my phone number? Are you gonna come find me at night and cut me open while there's creepy opera music playing in the background?
Wow. Should I change *my* number?
I dunno, you tell me. A puppy thought I was worth puking on. Maybe that makes me detestable.
Detestable in that puppy's eyes, sure, but full on serial killer? I'm not too worried.
What *did* you do to that puppy?
Can't let it go, can you?
You brought it up. Don't blame me.
You've got 5 more minutes.
What and then you'll vanish?
Time is ticking!
?!? My name is Blaine.
Okay, sure, why not.
You're not gonna tell me your name are you? I knew you'd be the serial killer in this equation.
See you same time next week, Blaine!
...Now I just feel used.
Thurs 16 Oct (2:20pm)
Do you just like saying my name or...?
Oh there you are. Hi!
Hello, Wrong Number.
Is there something you want?
Start where we left off. I'm still waiting on that dog story.
And I keep telling you there's no actual story.
You do know that by refusing to tell me you're just building it up, right?
Someone's in a crappy mood. You didn't have another puppy throw up on you, did you?
Are you on crack?
Hardly. Caffeine maybe. Gotta get through this lecture somehow. The prof doesn't like it if we fall asleep.
I wonder why.
Wanna tell me what's going on?
From serial killer to therapist?
Is there a difference?
You're not a therapist, are you?
No, but my mother is.
For insulting my mother or for the fact that she's a therapist?
Does it matter?
Maybe you should just focus on your lecture for once.
Sure, why not.
Oh you think you're clever now.
All right, we're not strangers anymore. Spill.
Technically we're still strangers.
Just go back to your lecture or whatever you did before you starting using me as a distraction, okay?
Sorry if I upset you.
Thurs 23 Oct (2:25pm)
Hey... I'm sorry. About last week.
Well, hello. Sticking to our usual time slot, I see?
It's our thing!
We have a thing?
Apparently we do.
About last week.
Oh. Yeah... I was having a crappy week.
And it's better now?
My offer still stands.
Do we really wanna do that?
Details. Personal... stuff.
Why do you keep texting me?
You keep texting me!
“No you keep texting me!” Seriously, Blaine?
And you started this time. So why?
See, that's what I don't know!
Look... okay you know what? I'm behind on half of my courses (yeah, I'm a student... details!), my workload is insane, I'm really starting to freak out because what if I can't keep up, this was supposed to be easier... one of my professors is a biased pervert, AND I got dumped last week.
Is that really what you wanted to talk about?
I didn't think so.
Shit, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you all... that.
Did it cheat on you?
The puppy. You said you got dumped. Did it cheat on you by throwing up on someone else? Happens to the best of us. I'm sure it's not personal.
...I'm sorry. That was inappropriate.
Are you holding up a huge sarcasm sign I'm not seeing or...?
No, I'm serious. That actually made me smile.
Really, Kurt? A smiley face?
What? I get ineloquent when I'm insecure.
Oh shut up.
There you go!
Sorry, gotta run. Class dismissed. Next week?